Wednesday, 31 July 2013

PCDBL - The Teams and Coaches Pt 2

Welcome back you lovers of the shiny ball!  Today we will be continuing the run down of the reprobates participating in the league and hopefully giving you a little window into their souls.  Just remember what Nietzsche said though:

"... if you gaze long enough into the Abyss, the Abyss will also gaze into you."

Then again he had syphilis and probably fancied his sister so we can probably discount any advice he had to offer; so gaze on brave reader!

Team Super Nashwan Coach Gaz

Normally to be seen destroying people's dreams at Warmahordes tournaments Gaz is a new comer to the world of Dreadball.  To underestimate him though and his Void Siren style team would be a mistake.  The combination of the teams flexibility and Gaz's killer instinct on the gaming table will make them a force to be reckoned with.

Team Helheim Serpents Coach Alaisdhair

More Dreadball freshmeat!  Alaisdhair hails from a 40k background so we'll be checking to make sure he's not brought any guns to the party.  Or swords for that matter ... In fact what is it with the 41st century and sword obsession?  Get a gun you power armoured clowns!  Ahem; anyway for PCDBL Alaisdhair will be fielding the vertically challenged hairy faced forgefathers.  Just nobody mention Squats OK?

Team Olympiakos Paiderastes Coach Sonny "the Greek"

What have Greeks ever given us?  Democracy, philosophy, mathematics, kebabs, economic disaster, oiled naked man wrestling; the list is both long and impressive.  The real question is though can they also provide the next PCDBL Champion? Sonny will be attempting to make this a reality by leading out his Trontek style team in an effort to reignite the glories of Ancient Greece.  Is he the true descendant of Leonidas, Xenophon and Alexander?  Probably not but he might win a few matches of Dreadball!

Team Titanium Terrors Coach Stuart J

This meat is so fresh it doesn't even know it's dead yet!  We'll sort that out in the next 48 hours though with his first game of Dreadball. Stuart is fielding a robot team who I have to say are a popular team choice in the league.  He will be hoping the quick changes and well oiled tactics of these armoured algorithms will lead to victory; defeat does not compute!

Team Guttersnipe Racketeers Coach Lee U

Lee is fielding the Veer-myn!  Sure, they're a bunch of rat bastards who should be kept in labs for the purposes of cosmetics testing but lets not hold that against them.  Unnaturally quick strikers with surprisingly capable guards make a powerful combination and an entertaining team to watch.  It's just the fur and uncontrollable urination I can't cope with; still, Lee has promised to see his doctor about his personal issues before the league starts.

Team Jackhammers Coach Jack

What could be more appropriate than a team of jacks, coached by Jack, called the Jackhammers?  It's almost like we plan this shit!  Jack is another new player seduced by the automated attraction of the robot team and who can blame him?  As Jack says:

"You have 14 rushes to comply ..."

Team J-MEAT  Coach Pete

Pete, being a long time player of Blood Bowl (henceforth referred to as the Game That Dare not Speak Its Name), asked me:

"ParthianShot, you wise and most knowledgeable fellow, who plays most like Wood Elves?"

There was only one answer and as such Pete will be fielding the Judwan!  Personally this scares me a little not because the Judwan are unbeatable (they aren't, but feel free to debate that if you like) but because Pete has the brain of a Ukranian Chess Grandmaster.  Fortunately he rolls dice like a clown shoe so it all balances out eventually!

Team <TBC>  Coach  Phil

I don't know about you, dear readers, but I think anything with more than four legs should be hit repeatedly with a rolled up newspaper.  When they get this large however anything less than a thermonuclear device is just going to piss them off.  Phil is a bit off the beaten track gamewise, normally to be seen commanding 20 mm World War 2 miniatures to victory.  His soviet-like disregard for the life of his troops should stand him in good stead in the Dreadball arena though.  OOO-RAHH!

Team Zhambel Horsemen Coach Rob H.

Taking a break from chasing TIE fighters in games of X-Wing, Rob is hoping that the force will be with him on the Dreadball pitch.  His choice of a Trontek style corporation team is solid one and quite popular in the league.  One thing I can say with certainty is that there will be no snogging of your own sister, unexpected paternity revelations or compulsion to "let the Wookie win" in PCDBL.

Moreover there will be punishments for ANYONE referring to Lee U as a wookie;  we're all thinking it, just don't say it!

Team Iron Sparkies Coach  Jake

ANOTHER 29er team!  Jake is an artist at heart, attracted to the models first and foremost  as a random purchase.  We all appreciate a decent paint job; thing is what is it going to look like after being comprehensively violated by a bunch of psychotic loons?  I don't know about you sports fans, but I can't wait to see!

That's all for now Dreadball fans.  Stay classy until next time!

ParthianShot signing off!


In true rat-fashion sneakiness we've had a last minute entry bringing the league up to 20 teams.

Team The Disrespecters Coach Darrell

Having gone from having a single Veer-myn teams in the league, Darrell's team of sewer dwellers has made them one of the most popular teams in the league!  maybe its true what they say after all you're only ever one strike away from a Veer-myn!

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